Questions You Shouldn’t Ask the Bride and Groom

Planning a wedding, as joyful as it is, can be stressful at times. There’s so much organisation and work involved that at times it can all seem a bit overwhelming. Of course, by the time the big day rolls around, it will all have been worth it. However, in the weeks and months beforehand there can be moments that are really trying, even for the happiest couple. In such times, both the bride and groom should be able to rely on their friends and family for support and encouragement. If you know someone who’s planning their wedding, you should bear this in mind.

But what exactly can a friend do to be supportive of the bride and groom? For the most part, it involves little more than simply being a good friend, as you would under normal circumstances. Be considerate, empathetic, and, where possible, offer your help. However, it also involves not doing certain things. If you know someone who’ls getting married, the chances are that there’ll be certain things you’ll be curious about, and you may find yourself tempted to ask questions. Sometimes, being asked about certain things can be a cause of stress or discomfort for a bride or groom, and may have a negative effect on their overall state of mind. In this week’s blog post, we’d like to point out some sensitive topics that should best be avoided, so as not to cause any unnecessary stress to the bride or groom.


Questions About the Guest List

You can be sure that the bride and groom will spend a great deal of time and deliberation in compiling their guest list. By the time the invitations have been sent, the list will have been finely worked out, and you should assume that the bride and groom are happy with it. For this reason, you should refrain from asking them to make any changes to the guest list, or about their reasons for including or excluding any particular people. The bride and groom will have put a lot of thought into their guest list, and you should take it that they have good reasons for any decisions they’ve made. If children or plus-ones are invited, this will have been made clear on your invitation. Pressing the bride and groom on this subject will only cause them an unnecessary headache, and will possibly upset them.

Questions About the Budget

Financial matters are private for any family, and this is no less true of a soon-to-be-married couple. Everyone knows that weddings are expensive. While you may be curious, you shouldn’t ask what the budget for the wedding will be, or about how much any given aspect of the wedding will cost. No doubt, the bride and groom will already be spending more time than they’d like to thinking about the cost of the wedding. As a friend, your aim should be to take their mind off such concerns, rather than to ask questions about them. Plus, of course, it’s just nosy!

Questions About the Relationship

Marriage is a huge commitment, and not one that couples undertake lightly. The bride and groom will have given careful thought to such a momentous decision, and come to the conclusion that they really are sure about each other. That said, with such a commitment, it’s not unusual for people to have moments of doubt or nervousness as the big day draws closer. You should avoid stoking any such doubts by asking either the bride or the groom about their relationship with each other, or whether they’re sure about their decision. The same goes for asking about future plans, like having children. For now, just let the couple enjoy their wedding day.


Questions About Unforseen Circumstances

Some factors which will have a significant effect on the wedding day are completely out of anyone’s control. The weather would be a prime example, but there are many others. Prospective brides and grooms often spend much time worrying about these things. Many people have a tendency to worry most about things that they have no control over. Do your best to avoid bringing such topics up. Don’t ask questions about what the weather will be like on the date chosen, or whether certain guests will be able to make it to the wedding, for example. The bride and groom are better off not thinking about these things, as they can only be a source of worry.

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